today was really shiok. i just got a new school bag, a pair of heels, reserved a pair of really pretty pumps, bought 2 new tops =) but my parents had to ruin everything. cuz i met them at wisma to bring me home, then dad asked "u bought more shoes? dun wanna say anything more bout u." like he was really disappointed. not the usual kind that he'd end with a slight grin. sigh. now i feel so bad. suddenly i feel like i got so many things to settle. again. i hate it whenever i have to think of so many issues in my life i have to look into.

first of all, i have to settle the money issue. the extent that i spend, i think it's making my parents very unhappy. last time in school, i could still starve and scrimp to save money for sth else i wanna spend on. now, i need to start saving for my australia trip. i absolutely cannot ask my parents to pay for my trip any more. if i save my pocket money, i'd have no money to buy stuff for the next six months. unless u've got a mental disability, most pple need to spend money. i could absolutely not resist the perfect pair of shoes, that irresistable bag, or that top which i can't stop thinking about if i didn't get it.

i keep remembering stuff from the OC. merissa said in the episode last night, maybe pple like malls, cuz everything's almost perfect. u forget ur troubles by getting that perfect shade of lipstick. nothings seems wrong. haha. mayb that's why i shop so much. i need 'things' to make me feel better bout myself. i need 'things' to perk me up, make me feel not too little. haha.

and then, if i get a job, there's the problem of where i should work. near home or school. the price of staying in hall has increased. so now, i'm thinking of moving out of hall. gina thinks that it's the best thing to do too. this way, can save money, cuz my dad's gonna be paying for the second car for a few months for me to use, plus if i use the car more, there's the petrol price. u see how this can be such a messy spider web?

and then my mum. i dunno how to talk to her. she always gives me this attitude when i talk to her bout stuff like that. it's not that she talks like this normally, but she talks like that when she doesn't take me seriously. which part of my face says i'm not serious when i talk to her?! sheesh.

and then, there's more problems bout with my time table and school work. if i take up a job, not sure if i can cope with studies.

and then, astro. next sem's gonna be so busy with astro. coping school work, earning money, and astro, i don't even know if i'm up to it.

and of course, i absolutely i have to make some time for my baby. he's so busy, and i'll be so busy, so only the weekend is free. then if i'm gonna get a job, i'll probably get a wkend one.

and then there's losing weight. been thinking of signing up for classes. but i'm not sure what my priorities are! which part of the week should i plan my classes and work, and still have time for my baby and family and time to relax and study?

i don't know what to do. but i feel clearer of my objectives now, after rambling on so much. haha!

right now, i'll just look forward to the shoes i'm getting on monday. look forward to my hot yoga trial class. and most looking forward to, tan boon keng is coming home on thursday morning 4a.m!

ok maybe when i'm more free the next few days, the "The Complete Guide to How-Good-And-Bad-A-Trip-Can-Be" will come up =)